Parents Blog

I cried that night!

In the mail that morning was an envelope from my mother with only one item inside … her business card. Mom was an artist and had her own “Little Studio” where she taught many a folk the fine art of creating art. Mom taught me many things, but I never caught on to the “art” thing.

It had been more than four weeks since I was held back in my quest to earn my commission as a Naval Flight Officer. I was attending the Naval Aviation Officer Candidate School at Naval Air Station Pensacola, Florida. I could do everything they demanded of me except for 5 chin ups. I passed all the course work required. They even passed me in my understanding of “military barring” … which was a stretch for me.

It was the physical fitness requirements that were my greatest challenge. I had accomplished everything … the obstacle course and “Dipsty Dumpster” included. If you have seen “An Officer and a Gentleman” starring Richard Gere and Debra Wenger, you know what I mean by the “Dipsty Dumpster” and obstacle course. I did it all …. Except for those 5 stupid chin ups.

I remember the first day we were benchmarked on our physical abilities. My Drill Instructor stuck his baton into my belly like he was taking a measurement of my fat. “You might as well quite now, Brown. Fat Bodies like you always DOR (Drop on Request). He achieved his goal. He lit a fire in me that I had never experienced before. I’d be damned if I was going to quit. My Daddy wouldn’t be proud of me if I did.

I stepped up to the chin up bar, jumped and grabbed hold. “Begin!” my DI demanded. “Begin?” I responded. “I’m finished!” I couldn’t do one chin up.

Ten weeks later, I could do two chin ups. The requirement was five. Had it not been for the Viet Nam war and the Navy’s need for aviators, they would have washed me out then and there. But, no! They put me on a PT hold. I was restricted to the barracks, only allowed to go to the gym to work out and to the mess hall to eat.
Week after week for four weeks, that was my life. I could now do three.

Then I opened the envelope my mother had sent in the mail. Inside was her business card, as I said before. On the back of the card, she had written:

Lord, grant me the courage to change that which can be changed;
Serenity to accept that which cannot be changed;
And Wisdom to know one from the other.

I need to openly admit to you that I was not a man of great faith at that point in life. I did enjoy Sunday morning church services because that was the only place the Drill Instructors would not shout at you. Other than that, a strong faith would have been a great hindrance to the life style of a Naval Aviator that I wanted so badly.

I was finally in a place in life where failure was indeed a possibility. I sat on my bunk and read that prayer … I didn’t even know it was the “Serenity Prayer” … and had a conversation with God. I asked Him why me? Why can’t I do these stupid chin ups?

I felt a certain peace that I had never felt before. I left my bunk and went to the head (the bathroom for you non Navy types). There were sturdy bars in the shower stalls that everyone used for chin up exercises. I jumped and grabbed hold of the bar and preceded to do six chin ups. Yes, I said SIX.

I immediately ran to the Duty Office to report my success. My DI said, “Show me”. Back we went to the head. I did the mandatory five. He looked at me and said, “Do it again!” With a deep breath, I jumped, grabbed, and squeaked out five more chin ups. That was a total of 16 within just a few minutes, thanks be to God and adrenalin.

I went out on liberty that night to celebrate my success. Later that same night I lay in my bunk and I cried. I had already gone back on my promise to God … as I have done time and again most of my life.

My mother had influenced my life a thousand miles away. She knew I was depressed because I couldn’t do five chin ups. I later learned that she and dad were secretly hoping that I would wash out, thereby not having to go to war. But they never said that. She just sent me that prayer. I guess her prayers were answered because I never went to war … but that’s another story.

Mothers are like that! They profoundly influence our lives asking little in return. Please remember your mother this weekend.

Not too long ago I learned that one of my daughters was experiencing one of the biggest challenges of her life. I didn’t know what to say or do. Then I thought of my mother. I did what my mother did and sent my daughter the “Serenity Prayer” on the back of my business card. A few days later she called to say thanks. She put it in her wallet which is the same place I put my mom’s card, forty years ago. It’s still there today.

Thanks Mom! I miss you dearly, but am reminded of your gentleness everyday by the art work throughout our home.